limbo redux

Well, July certainly chewed me up and spat me out ... and August isn't improving on that, so far.

1) We are NOT taking the previously posted house after all - it simply had much too much wrong with it.

2) We are all in turmoil now due to the fact that we cannot agree on our next move. My father and I are both of the opinion that we should: let go of the idea of moving to either Las Vegas (which we have still been watching) or California; stay here; and fix the house the rest of the way, and buy an investment property, before the money's all gone! We both think it's evident, from the pattern of things, that the move just isn't going to happen - everything we like we get outbid on, and everything we don't get outbid on we don't like because it needs too much work (more than we could really afford to do until after the house here sold). My mother however .... cannot be budged from California.

3) We are, none of us, in good moods these days - and I, for one, am about to strangle my mother (OK, that might be an exaggeration, but you get the point). I would seriously like to know why "2 out of 3" was a good enough policy to come here, and yet it's not good enough to let us all start focusing on getting on with life now (even though life would be gotten on with HERE, and she doesn't want to be HERE). I am one false move (by my mother) away from leaving, for good. I've more than had it, and for once I have the money to go. If the definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over again expecting different results - I MUST be insane to still be here. I swore to myself before we came here this time - that if any of the (major) promises didn't turn out as advertised (for example: no investment properties = no money for hiring someone to look after my mother = no more of a life of my own than I had before), I would be done. I have tried to be "on board", to be a "team player" and all that other crap. But here I am - more than a year later - without a clear picture of what's going on, and not a single change for the better. I think more than a year, is more than fair!

4) I think my dad and I are planning on working on the small unfinished fixes around here that we either already have the stuff to do or won't cost much (like putting in the new door that has been sitting on our porch for months, and fixing it so the upstairs bathtub can be used as a shower (instead of having to go downstairs). But neither one of us is thrilled by having to keep from tackling the major things that need doing. And I'm planning on registering for school this semester (have lived here long enough now for in-state tuition rates). My mother claims she's going to keep looking and find us the "right" house. If by some miracle she finds it - good for her, but I, at least, will be staying here (at least long enough to complete a semester) .... and I will not be moved on that! But so help me, if I end up being stuck in this house the way it is (the kitchen, for example, drives me insane on a daily basis), while the money is frittered away because my mother can't stop looking longingly at California .... I will be SO done, and so out of here!

PS - this may sound like a rant, but believe me - this is me holding it together as best I can!

2 comments:

La Yen said...

Come out to visit. You can stay for as long as you want--we will eat food and watch Days of Our Lives. You are always welcome!

LuluBunny said...

Thanks Yen - that is SUPER sweet, VERY appreciated, and EXTREMELY tempting :)

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