Cake-tastrophe ... part duex

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, there are two possible defenses for the following piece of evidence .... 1) I was simultaneously ill and under the influence of massive amounts of Benadryl, or 2) I have NO - and I do repeat, NO skills (none whatsoever) as a cake decorator and it is obviously due to some sort of mutant gene, or lack thereof:

By way of an explanation ... I was supposed to make a cake (you know I made a chocolate one!) and frost it with thin consistency light blue icing. I was also supposed to bring a small amount of thin consistency un-tinted icing mixed with piping gel for writing practice and then several small amounts of medium consistency frosting in various bright colors (I was supposed to be learning how to transfer a rainbow pattern onto the cake surface). In my malaise, I never got around to making any of the medium. 

But I did manage to get as far as icing the cake light blue (having already stolen a portion of the un-tinted icing to mix with the piping gel) - though I could not for the life of me get the damn thing as smooth as it was supposed to be (it is claimed - by both the book and the instructor - that one CAN get the buttercream as smoothly finished in appearance as if it were fondant .... I wholeheartedly accuse them of lying!). But then  I had to abandon my 'masterpiece' for a few days while I lay in my bed wracked with fever (are you hearing violins playing yet?). 

Last night, I finally got up enough 'oomph' to try to make some roses for the top of it, which was a whole other disaster .... whereas I had made the other icing I used, I was going to 'cheat' and use the store-bought Wilton brand stiff icing in the tub for my in-class rose practice. Let me say now that I'm very glad I didn't try it out in class first. I'm not sure yet on whom I'm pinning the blame for this one - Wilton, or Wal-Mart, or possibly God .. but at any rate I almost broke my hand trying to squeeze the stupid stuff out. Needless to say I did not make any roses for the cake - I will try again later (maybe after I add some water to the stiff icing, or put it in the micro for 30 seconds or something!). Instead, I just used up the little container I had of the reserved icing with piping gel. 

My goal at this point was not to make a 'perfect' cake - or even a pretty cake - but to simply be done with the cake so it could be cut before one of two things happened ... 1) it went stale, or 2) my dad's head exploded (it is universally understood to be cruel and unusual punishment to bake a chocolate cake and not let anyone have a piece .. in  fact I'm pretty sure it's on the list of tortures at Gitmo .. if not, it should be because I suspect it's one form of torture that might actually work!).


LuluBunny said...

PS - I was so out of it after trying to decorate my cake that while I was cleaning up I actually THREW AWAY my petal tip (I had placed it in a paper towel). AND, it took my like a whole day to realize I'd done it! I guess antihistamines and cake decorating really don't mix, lol :)

Joseph Ludi said...

Friends don't let friends decorate dopey!

MADD (Madmen Against Decorating Dopey)

LuluBunny said...

ROTFL - Yeah, well were ya when I needed you? lol ;P

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