stop the madness

So, apparently I'm not the only one who thinks the family have gone nuts. I just got off the phone with Aunt Chris (one of my Bapa's sisters).

When I talked to my Uncle Ken last Friday, he said, "Now that I got in touch with you, I just have to get a hold of Aunt Roseanne (Bapa's sister-in-law), and then everyone will know." For some reason I assumed that meant he'd probably already tried to call her (I mean, this was Friday, and Bapa had died on Tuesday), but that he just hadn't gotten her in person and didn't want to leave it on the machine.

Well, according to Aunt Chris, no one from up north called anyone in Vegas until a couple days ago - they called and left a message for Roseanne, and she tried to call them back, repeatedly, but didn't manage to actually talk to anyone until this morning. When she did reach them this morning, Ken told her Bapa had died last week (no dates were given) and that they were "still making plans". She then called Aunt Chris.

No one from up north had even tried to call Aunt Chris!! Needless to say she was shocked/hurt/and more than slightly bent out of shape to find out about the death of her only living brother 10 days after the fact, and secondhand no less. She remembered that in Mother's last letter to her she'd given her our phone number, so Aunt Chris spent the afternoon looking for the letter, and then called, and she and I ended up having a good long chat.

I've always liked Aunt Chris - she can be a little rough around the edges, but she's fun, smart, and a very straight shooter. In our conversation this afternoon/evening she repeatedly referred to my grandmother as "that woman" - as in: "that woman" never answers the phone, and "that woman" never returns my messages.

I love that, LOL wink

She also told me that, because grandma wouldn't call her back, she started calling the hospitals in order to check on Bapa. That's when she found out that Grandma had told the hospital that there was no other family, just Grandma and the two boys. Aunt Chris was not pleased to hear that one, so she filled 'em in wink

Aunt Chris also told me that Adult Protective Services had been called 4 different times, by the hospital, to check on Bapa because they believed the family wasn't taking good care of him at home. I told her that we had actually called them once too, because we'd heard a couple things we thought needed to be investigated, and that we had felt bad about doing it, but also felt like we had no choice (that decision resulted in us being completely cut off for about a year). She was really cute about it, and said that she'd almost called them herself, and was sure we'd done the right thing, and how she kept asking about visiting, and how Grandma kept putting it off, and how scary she thought that was.

Aunt Chris was really cute, she kept saying - "I just don't understand! The man's been dead 10 days, what are they doing up there? How can they still be making plans?" I told her, I don't know - I don't know what they're doing/not doing - we were so in the dark, we were worried we'd missed the funeral completely - and now they won't talk to me. I told her I thought it might be because I called and told Cindy, and they might have gotten her sympathy cards, and now they're mad at me for telling her that Bapa died. Aunt Chris was really cute, she said, "Oh that's just ridiculous - but it's just like that woman." Then Aunt Chris proceeded to tell me how she couldn't figure out how Grandma got that way - since her parents, her sister, her brothers, were all "the nicest people I ever met". Then she said, "I always knew she was sort of controlling, but I never thought she'd take it this far."

I told her the truth - neither did I.

I mean, I'm sorry, but whatever happens between people, it's a funeral, and it's family - and that's all there is to it. We should all be able to suck it up and pull together for this, but apparently that's not going to happen.

Then, the piece de resistance of the entire call, Aunt Chris said, and I quote, "Well, she'll burn in hell for this, that's for sure. For torturing him these last couple years because she wouldn't just let the man die in piece, even when all the doctors were telling her to, and now for this - letting him just sit at the mortuary like this! After all he did for her, and all he put up with from her. She'll burn in hell for this."

I told her she's right. But I left out the gushing sensation of love I had for her, just for saying it out loud like that.

It was actually a really nice conversation - plenty of venting, a bit of info sharing, happy memories, and some general updating. I told her my mom is officially coming home tomorrow, and she said she'd call in a few days to talk with her once she was settled in. My mom will love that - she adores Aunt Chris (everyone does, except my Grandmother - and the feeling is now apparently completely mutual).

Ah, the break down of the family - ain't it grand? LOL <span class=

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