my family is insane

no clever title tonight - just the truth - they're nuts!

So here's the story .....

I talked to Ken (my uncle) last Friday morning, he said he'd try to call me over the weekend, or early this week - as soon as he knew something more about the funeral arrangements. There has been, not a peep heard from the clan up north since then. My mom, very anxious that we not miss sending flowers to the funeral, has been on my case to call them. So, yesterday (Tuesday) morning I called and left a message at around 11.30 am ..... no response. After hearing (all day) from my mother that I should call again, and after receiving 2 phone calls from Cindy (my aunt) trying to find out if I'd heard anything ... I called again at 8.30pm. In the evening message I told them mother was really worried about not getting the flowers there in time, and I told them - I don't go to bed until about 1.30am, and I'm up by 8 or 8.30, and if I'm not around, the machine is always on, so call anytime.

Response?

Silence.

Today, around 5.30pm, I tried again, and got nowhere again. So then, I called Cindy (I had promised her a call today) to let her know I couldn't get a hold of anyone, couldn't find anything out, and to give her their home address so that she could send her flowers there. She called back around 6.30-ish and let me know that they had done a bit of internet sleuthing (a tactic I was just starting myself) and found a death notice online that listed the mortuary. Her husband had called and been told by the funeral director that, as of about 4 or 5 pm today, no plans had been made at all. I couldn't believe it - he died a week ago yesterday! Here we'd been so worried that we had missed, or were about to miss the funeral completely, and it hasn't even been planned yet?

We see only two real explanations as to why nothing has been done ...

1) everyone up there is an emotional wreck and cannot currently put one foot in front of the other. This is a completely possible, and totally understandable option. But I don't know .. I would think one out of the three of them could pull it together enough to get the man buried.

2) this was so unexpected, at this particular moment anyway, that they don't have enough in the bank to cover it, and are embarrassed to say so. I'm kind of worried that this might be what's going on .. it would explain a lot. I want to call up there and leave a message and let them know that if that's what's going on we can help - and would be happy to - I know funerals are expensive. But I can't think of a way to make that call without offending them .. I'm still working on it though, maybe something will come to me in my sleep tonight.

Now, as for why they're not calling me back there are 4 possible options ... 1) emotionally distraught, 2) very busy making plans, 3) if the money thing is an issue then they might be embarrassed and hard pressed to try and explain why no plans have been made yet, or 4) they're mad at me for telling my aunt and have decided to add me to the list of people who's names are never to be spoken again (my aunt sent sympathy cards - we got ours yesterday - so it's possible they did too). I think 4 is the most likely option here, but I might be wrong.

All I know is that I've spent the last few days with the phone literally in my pocket so as not to miss their call. I have jumped for it every time it's rung since Friday morning - after all, it's probably either them, Cindy, or my mother (and so far it hasn't been them). My mother's on my case to find something out - which I can't - and the daughter they haven't talked to in over 20 years ends up being the one who finds out the 411.

It's insanity, I tell you, total insanity. I mean, I would be happy with a simple - 'nothing's planned yet, I'll call you when I know more' kind of call. Hell, I would have settled for: "I can't talk now, but you haven't missed the funeral yet" followed by the click of a disconnected line.

I mean, it's not like I was asking them to read me War and Peace over the phone - just a human voice uttering 4 little words "you didn't miss it."

UGH! Whatever. At least we found out that we're not too late - and even if they never call me back we can keep calling the mortuary to get updates so we can send the flowers at the right time.

Sorry, just really needed to vent, and this was my only outlet.

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